suamigila.

Gua diajak rapat sama bos gua hari ini. Sales meeting. They do this from time to time. Yang ngeselin, they all speak french. INi secara spektakuler membuat gua jelas2 SUSAH untuk kerja. MBOK YA! Im a marketing manager, not GOD. Berikut cuplikan.

‘koe ?erj spic sldcqb w?’ kata bos gua,
‘ifde sifzr zucbz aeoa’ kata si B, defensif.
‘ie r^pfdoz zioda adsnhoabe’ kata si A sambil nunjuk2
‘ieozr zedcbq qdkaq apqpoid aqia aipefda’ kata si C menekan dada, pause for dramatic effect, dan mata mulai berkaca-kaca.

gua bengong.

‘iozdi reoiue fudcqu sd?’ tanya si C

semua ngangguk.
Gua sendiri geleng kepala.
Semua nengok. Dont u ever get the notion that when u do something spectacularly stupid, THEY NOTICED? Its almost as certain as Newton law #3

‘why did u say no?’ bos gua akhirnya ngomong inggris.
‘oh no I have something in my throat, uhk, uhk’ kata gua. Mereka melanjutkan perdebatan. Sebuah argumen berkembang but I cant quite comprehend what it is. With my level of french, these are the only possible options:
a. C wants everyone to get a rabies shot.
b. B want C to be fired.
c. Sales are dropping, C need to get gunned down.
d. Wheather is lovely out there, we sld all strip naked and ngangkang getting tan.
e. C is complaining that someones toe is exceptionally smelly and to keep smelling it in the office is sale as pushing the boundaries of humanity.

It felt more like as if u r negotiating in a hostage situation with an angry, war tribe due to a certain delicate, sensitive issue, like when the neighbouring goats passes a piece of their land. ‘THIS MEANS BLOOD!!!’ they say.

AND NO THATS NOT MY TOE!!!!

I still cant make out which, yang jelas si B berkata:
‘poiezr xcnxc sdiafe zerozbpza’ kata si B
‘pozez etiepz zdfiuzbzfz zdfz’ sanggah si C sambil banting kertas. OF COURSSE!!!!! it makes a lot of sense now…..u twats!

si A ngangguk2

bos gua tampak setuju

Gua ngompol ketakutan di brendeng warlords.

akhirnya gua bilang ke bos gua bhw gua gak bisa tll contribute ke rapat ini dan balik kerja….2 years of these…

To tell u the truth; it is truly intimidating working in africa, even in office. Gimana gak? Everytime u get into a debate, what do u do? U stand up right? Well, when I do, stand up nothing really takes effect coz ALL of them are twice my size. Gua pernah cerita ttg hal ini di postingan sebelumnya, suatu hari gua lmarah2 ke bawahan gua
‘pokoknya gua gak mau lu dateng telat lagi TITIK!’ ujar gua berdiri tegap nunjuk2 penis mereka. Gua disentil juga bisa minum sayur asem dari sedotan.

Dont try to get all nasty and stuff to a man who comes from a tribe who stab people as sign of maturity.
‘ah son, you are from today….a man’
‘thank you father’
‘now go get a knife and kill some one. be back before dinner u hear?’

or

‘do this, clean that, sacrifice a virgin on your way out…’

honestly, u dont point fingers to these people.